“What do you do for a living?”, a fundamental question during introductions, really means, “Who are you?” It sets the tone and places you in a category. Are you blue collar or white collar, poor or rich, interesting or boring, someone worth engaging with or not?
Of course the question is useful shorthand, but it reinforces that idea that we are what we do.
I worked for three companies during my professional career. Each exit made it clear that I am not what I do; I am not my title; I am not my degrees…I am easily replaceable; the show will go on with or without me.
Leaving that first company was my choice. I truly loved the organization and the positive impact we had on our community. It was fulfilling work, but it was time for me to move on and to choose this bigger life.
I know that I had a positive impact while I was there. I did good work. People liked me…and they quickly moved on without me. I have stayed in contact with a single friend from that job.
Leaving that second company was not my choice. I was a casualty of yet another almost-annual reorganization.
This exit felt personal. I had been a visible leader in the organization. I had done my part as we grew from being in a handful of states to going national. I had managed the largest district and built a well-functioning team. What we did really mattered. I believed in our mission, so I had done what needed to be done, I had worked long hours, I had given my heart and soul to the organization.
In spite of my dedication, I still got the awkward, “Before we go any further, I have to tell you that HR is on the call” phone call followed by administrative details about returning my computer and accessing my severance package.
Over the next couple weeks, I heard from a former colleague or two. “I wish you the best.” “We’ll keep in touch.” Then nothing.
I didn’t have a Plan B thinking that I was a core member of the team and that I would be able to round out my career there. I had no idea how to get my career back on track. I felt abandoned and betrayed. I went into freefall and fell into the deepest depression of my life. It got ugly.
I have stayed in contact with two friends from that job.
This last exit is my choice. It was triggered by a knowing that now is the time for me to reinvent–that life goes more quickly than we like to admit and that if I am going to fulfill some of my personal dreams I had best get on with it!
I know that I made an important contribution to this organization. I was treated reasonably well, but as in most companies, there was no extra payoff for extra effort.
My position was quite visible, so on my way out the door I got a farewell card with well wishes from all over the country. The comments that touched me the most were the Thank Yous for welcoming people into new positions, for bringing a smiling disposition, for easing the burden, for pointing out the humor in the situation. The comments that left me cold were those of the “Thank you for your contribution to the organization” flavor.
From this job, I take a handful of friendships that I expect will be lifelong.
Ultimately, I think the stereotypical Millennial the takes the right approach to their career. It goes something like:
- You have to make money, so do what you have to do
- Do just the work you are paid to do; loyalty is dead
- Make the workplace tolerable
- Focus on your life outside the workplace-that’s the stuff that matters
For a Gen Xer that all feels a little unambitious, but I would argue that in the end all we have in life is the connections we make along the way.
Spencer, sin fronteras 